About Christine: I am an Air Force wife and mom to two wonderful boys.
On October 18, 2013 God worked an instant and perfect miracle in me. Wait, let me back up a little.
I have always struggled with my self-esteem and body image. As a young girl, about eight or nine, I started taking weight loss pills to lose weight. I was not over weight at all at the time, underweight if anything. But in my mind, I was fat. I had a huge stomach, and was ugly. I don’t even know where I got the pills from. No one bought them specifically for me. I did not steal them. Yet, somehow, I took them regularly. Although in time, I stopped taking the pills, the mean and negative thought about
myself and food never went away. There was almost no food I could eat without feeling guilty. If it was not raw plain carrots, I would hate myself for eating it. But since I would still eat the food, I thought I was fine. I thought that was “normal” for woman to hate them self and their bodies. I thought every woman said mean things to them self when they looked in the mirror. This went on for about a decade.
Then God started to change my heart. Over the months before the Mops convention in 2013, I started to hear from God. He began working in me and gave me a grace that allowed me to really pursue recovery. I thought that since I did not vomit, or completely stop eating, I thought I was fine. That this was as good as it gets for some people. I did not have an eating disorder. I had gotten over that years ago…. Or so I thought. God showed me that day that not being able to eat anything at all without guilt and bad feelings is in fact an eating disorder. That thinking I am ugly, fat, and will never be as thin or pretty again as back in blank time…. When I still thought I was fat and ugly….is not the life he had planned for me. I sat in the convention room, crying as I heard the speaker talk. She had us right down on a piece of paper our biggest burden, and then crumple it up and though it away. And in that moment. I finally heard what he had been telling me… screaming at me. I wrote down “eating disorder” crumpled it up fast so none of my friends could see, and threw it away. I prayed to God to let me see myself the way I see my friends, and my husband see me. Please take away these thoughts Jesus. I don’t want do this anymore. In that very moment, Jesus healed my mind completely.
To this day, I am 3 months food guilt free and when I say free, I mean free from behaviors AND mental battles! I used to go through a day praying I wouldn't slip and feeling weak and now it isn't even a thought in my mind. I wanted to share because I believe that I am living proof that God can heal and deliver people from mental illnesses with one prayer. If you give your burdens over to God, he will take them off of your shoulders. That is was Father’s do.
Over the course of the next year we look forward to bringing you posts from members of our steering team, our mentor moms, MOPS Volunteer Staff and the MACC pastoral staff!